The Stay At Home Mom

Let's talk about the stigma behind being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). People think you "do nothing all day," just "sit around" and watch the kids right? Let's ALL laugh. That is not what we do all day.

I have not been in the workforce since I was diagnosed with a rare form, of a rare form, of a congenital heart defect. I still wanted to go to school, get my degree, and eventually make it back into the workforce after further procedure, when my health has improved. Luckily, my husband was so supportive of me getting my degree in Human Services that he took on the responsibility of being a full-time supporter, while I took on being a SAHM and full-time college student.

I'd be lying if I said it was easy. It can be hard, and not just because I am with my kids all day, everyday. That is the easy part. Taking on chores in a four person household on your own because your husband is working overtime this week, like every week, is hard. Not seeing your spouse as much is hard. Hearing people say "you get to do nothing all day" is hard. Because, I literally never have a spare minute to do "nothing." I have devoted myself entirely to this life, and I do it with pride. Let's talk about the "nothing" we do all day.

I am a devoted mother, first. Two humans who fully depend on me, day in and day out. I spend as much quality time with them as possible, when I am not working on my degree program. Getting a Bachelor's degree is NOT a walk in the park, and as a mother it is more challenging, but also more motivating! Want to know what I am doing right now? Preparing a PowerPoint presentation while ALSO writing a paper for my other class. Research on research, hours upon hours, with pages and pages of information that I have to incorporate into a massive project.

The kids will be home in about an hour and a half. I have been at this since my children left this morning. I also have to start cooking dinner in about 30 minutes. The kids are starved by the time they get home from school. After dinner, it is on to working with my children on their OWN homework. It takes around two hours to go over their math with them and do our nightly reading. Usually around this time it is 6:30, and I STILL have work to be finished. About an hour later it is time for baths, brushing teeth, and to get ready for bedtime. I still need to clean the kitchen too. I will more than likely be working on my project the remainder of the evening, and that is okay. I am a hard worker, and I like it like that, my kids and family will ALWAYS come first.

Being a mother who is not in the workforce does not make you "lazy," and it does not make you "unqualified." You are a mother. Let's be real, it's a tough job right? We manage every detail of our entire family, consider this "family management." Plus, we cook, clean, manage finances (In my marriage I am better with the money), and many of us, such as myself, work from home, whether that is school or business, it is still considered WORK. SAHM's are HARD workers, it is a hard job. But, it is only hard because we do not give SAHM's the CREDIT they so desperately deserve! I'm a chef, a student, a maid, a therapist, a nurse, a mother, a tutor, a finance manager, and a wife. Never tell a SAHM they do "nothing" all day, we do EVERYTHING, we just have the opportunity to do it at home, ALL with our children by our side. What could possibly be more admirable than that?

Stop the stigma

- Bear